


SPIDERMARE PART 1

by zero



Category: Friday the 13th Series (Movies), Ghostbusters - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Darth Miami
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 05:59:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11480115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zero/pseuds/zero
Summary: spideys bad dream, egons entrance, the skate park. welcome true believers.





	SPIDERMARE PART 1

STANLEY: WELCOME TRUE BELIEVERS ITS TIME ONCE AGAIN FOR THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN WHOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

spidey and harry have come to target to get extreme discount deals on cheese snacks. theyre trying to decide between cheese its and cheese nips. its slowww going, brother. the flourescent lights form kind of a second skin. harrys glasses are a funk of glare. spideys mask steams and fogs up around the mouth. they have milk and eggs and pizza dough in their shopping cart.

harry: yes sirree, gonna deep fry and triple fry that pizza dough, or bobs your uncle  
spidey: nips... its... nips... its... what the fuck is a nip??? why on earth would someone want to eat a nip??? it doesnt WORK that way!?  
harry: pardon guv im just gonna nod off and get some campbells chunky  
spidey: nips... its... its like... its like im in a meme world... and someone has come... to rescue me from the dream world... in the meme world...

spidey: harry? are you there?  
spidey, internally: *im gonna have to get the cheese its. its the only way i can rationalize this purchase to myself. im gonna have to get my own box... where did harry go???*

the lights flicker and dim in the target. laughing noises are heard... its... could it be...? a g-g-ghost!?

spidey: zoinks! chewy! jason! spidey! anybody! help!  
ghost: blar!

spidey: *wakes up from nightmare* OUF! oh... it was all a dream... mustve been that rancid pizza dough leftover from the barbecue. lets see if theres any chunky monkey left in the deep freeze. settle my fears, and tears, over a pint. thatll hit the spot, ulp ulp!

spiderman is still in his nightcap. when he eats, he lifts up the mouth part of his mask so he can shovel in bite after bite of sumptuous, succulent ice cream. its sticky and he eats with a big metal spoon like a dying man who has just seen the light, a man in the desert who hasnt slept in forty days, a drowning man starved of sunlight, a plant bereft of water, the third rock from the sun.

egon: *kicks in the door* well ill be! just the man i needed to see. spidey, come quickly! we need you to bake some pizza for the fancy alumni meeting at the busters institute  
spidey: oh fuck... its 3 am! im just not feeling it today...  
egon: ill make it worth your while. i have a jar of flies ive been saving for just such an occasion.  
spidey: nuh-uh! i need to take a long-earned look in the mirror. a "strange vacation" if you will, heh heh

egon, internally: (spiderman doesnt want a jar of flies... this isnt like him... he must truly be troubled. we should plan a surprise party to cheer him up, old buddy)

 

spiderman grabs his board and heads down to the skate park where the crusties and the clowns all grind in their prime of life. its early in the morning and the sea brine has just begun to settle on the rolling shoals of the ocean shores. nothing moves. there is no traffic. the skate park is closed, but pete hops the fence, ready to think deep about his dream...


End file.
